Scars Borough Fair

Engra presented himself at the Eternal Citadel to share with his Warlord the names he had decided upon. Tchar'zanek stood there, ever vigilant, ever believing that there was only one throne and that it was made of skulls and not for his own behind.

"Here's what I need you to do..."
"Forgive me, lord?"
"Sorry, Engra, reflexes and such. I trust you come before me with those names I asked of you?"

"Yes, indeed. These warriors, although somewhat inexperienced show great promise and I believe they will prove a worthy addition to our Host and the right candidates for this task."

"Lets hear it then."

"I first chose a Chosen."

"Ha! I see what you did there!"

"Yes, I see it as well, now. His name is Parsley Puppykicker. He is reckless and rash but the fire of War burns within him and he seems capable of producing much Change."

"Always a good thing. What else?"

"I have taken the liberty of bringing up some of the mischievous Dark Elves as well, my liege."

"As I knew you would."

"There is one amongst the Sorcerers, one even Malekith eyes suspiciously. He holds much power but his kin, both accursed and regular, fear him for it. I know not his real name and I take it that few do. They refer to him only as 'Sage'."

"Sounds promising."
"There is a Zealot I've been eyeing for some time now..."

"Well, well..."

"Not quite what I meant."
"My interest has dwindled."

"I apologize. Her name is Ehone Deadrose but she has gained the unassuming alias of plain old 'Rose'. The conversations she holds with that skull of hers always ring true and her knife has brought as many men to their deaths as her magic has saved many of ours from it."

"A bit convoluted but I trust your judgment."

"Next I chose a Witch Elf for none are so helpful when secrecy is of the essence. One of them, Likith Marrymenot or just 'Mary', has been rising slow in their ranks, despite her prowess. I know not the reason for this but I am sure she would not hesitate at a chance to gain your favour, and Malekith's, by joining this venture."

"Queer name. Not very Druchii. Carry on."

"Lastly, I thought of the most curious of Goblins. He was raised by..."

"Wolves?"

"Wolves, my lord?"
"Not wolves then?"
"Humans. He has the cunning of a gobbo and the communication skills of, say, a Marauder."

"Oh. Well, a greenskin is still a greenskin, couldn't except much more than that. His name?"

"Thyme."
"Tom? What an odd name for a goblin."
"Not Tom. Thyme."
"It is getting close to noon."
"No, sire. His name is Thyme."
"Tom."
"Thyme."

"Exactly what I had said before."

"Indeed."
"Very well. Meet with them tomorrow at first light... of... some place where light still shines upon. There is a village I need them to visit, possibly even plunder. I will have the particulars delivered to you by then."

Engra nodded, for he was, as are we, tired of this dialogue. He left to, once again, stand at his platform near the chasm by the arena. He looked behind him at the Winds of Chaos, wondering of the far places he had once ventured to visit for a short while only to be spewed out most abruptly. Some day soon, he thought, I will unravel your secrets and your precious static lands will feel and tremble before the wrath of Change as has the rest of existence.

Graul scratched his behind with his knife.

Healers and You: What to Roll

I see this question asked a lot in the advice channel. Granted, I see a lot of similar questions asked but healers are more my thing so, here's my two cents on the matter.

"What healer should I roll/is more effective/is better in T4?"

The answer to the first question is, and always should be "the one you have more fun with". The second is debatable and the third relates closely to the second. What follows is merely my take on how they measure up when compared to each other and should be taken with a grain of salt, as I am more familiar with the Zealot than anything else.
Be warned! Wall of Text ahead. Plus I did not organize this in any way prior to typing it so... well, enjoy.

ABILITIES

Healing:
Zealots have, from early on, more healing abilities than any other. While DoKs spend quite a while with just two direct healing spells, Zealots (and Shamans to some extent) have a wider choice when it comes to just standing back doing the heals. In fact, DoKs get 5 direct healing abilities at most while Zealots get at least seven that I can think of at the top of my head (correct me if I'm wrong). When it comes to pocketing you might feel more comfortable having a Zealot and Shaman at your back, seeing a DoK has only two single target healing abilities (Restore Essence and Soul Infusion). A Zealot is more likely to keep you HoTed (with TC, LA, DM and maybe even the third ritual) between big heals while DoKs will rely more on their quick-casting group heals and their group absorb and HoT.
Shamans sit somewhere in between. Although they lack the instant gratification spell and have, instead, a very short cast-time heal/HoT similar to Restore Essence, they have what I like to call the "big one-target" that Zealots also possess. Their single-target absorb is also as useful/useless as a Zealot's although it can be made a bit more useful with the use of a certain tactic (although as soon as the barrier fades, which is soon, its bye-bye dmg).

Damage:
DoKs are, by far, the most common of DPSing healers. This could be because they have the sturdiest of armors compared to other healers (Medium Robe vs Robe) or it could just be that everyone loves the way a Dark Elf looks dual-wielding. Whatever the reason, DPS Shamans and Zealots in particular seem to be the most shunned. I've tried the DPS route with all of them and, granted, they all have very different feels to them, but the most fun to play, imho, is the Shaman. Simply because i still have the ability to help support my team while I DPS as it increases the effectiveness of my healing. But if you prefer a more "hands-on" approach to damage, DoKs are the Melee ones of the bunch which also makes them one of the first targets in the front lines.

I can't tell you which of the classes is more adept at DPSing or which has the most damage dealing abilities simply because I've never delved into the matter much. But if you do decide to embark on this venture be prepared to grow a very thick skin. Although it is my belief that DPS healers are completely viable, people expect a healing class to heal. That is the main reason they group with them.

Support:
All three classes have a certain buff they will cast at the beginning of a battle. For Shamans its Mork's Buffer. For DoK it can one of three Covenants, depending on the Mastery they chose (this is a good way to know what to expect from a DoK): Tenacity (they are usually going to be healing), Celerity (usually full DPS) and Vitality (Sacrifice mastery). Zealots have the wider choice in this, having several Marks to buff their group mates with. These are: Daemonic Fury, Vortex, Spell Destroyer and Remaking. Healers expect to be marked with SD and DPSing classes with DF. Tanks are a bit trickier and I usually ask what they want. If not, I give them DF because, lets face it, every tank wants to deal just a bit more damage.
In the midst of battle I consider the Shamans to have the better utility. Zealots have their choice of Rituals (Innervation, Lunacy and Superiority), the afore mentioned absorb and a very basic knockback. Depending on their spec they can also have an AoE stagger. Also, they can increase the wounds of an ally for a short while and silence an opponent. Bu that's it. DoKs have that absorb, and, if Sacrifice specced, they can bestow a damage-to-heal aura. They also have their meager knockback (cone effect) and can reduce their target's parry chance if Torture specced. They can rob AP, nullify buffs, steal strength, silence and snare. But there are too many conditions for these to work for my taste. I find them more useful in 1vs1 combat than in a large scale fight.
Shamans, in my opinion have the best support of all the healing classes. They can give their group mates more damage, cast a GT snare while reducing resistances, rob AP, a healing debuff, a knockback that snares, debuff offensive stats, increase toughness, reduce toughness and most of these skills hit more than one target.

MORALE ABILITIES

Common:
As with every archetype, healers have some morale abilities that are common to every class. Divine Favor is the first you'll stumble upon and it will prove useful for a long time. Until it stops being so and you'll never use it again. Or at least, I recommend you don't. I never used Steal Life myself. Again, I don't think it's worth it.
As for rank 2, you'll probably use Rampaging Siphon much as it heals your entire group and deals undefendable damage (at least I think it is) to possibly a wide range of enemies. As for Focused Mind, I personally have never used it, but it might have its good points. If I remember correctly it makes you impervious to silence and such. That or 0 AP cost. I can't remember.
Rank 3 has just Divine Protection. Bear in mind the shield only works for melee attacks so it's less useful against a bomb squad.
Rank 4 has Alter Fate. I can rarely get this one to work. The radius of it just seems too small. Remember, if you're trying to be a healer you can't quite be in the muck of it where everyone's dying.

Disciple of Khaine:
Rank 1: Life's End - I don't know what this one does but I get the feeling its damage related.
Rank 2: Khaine's Withdrawal - this one removes all debuffs from your entire group. Useful in places like BB and against Engineers.
Rank 3: Universal Confusion - useful for a damage specced DoK. That and for staggering, possibly.
Rank 4: 1001 - This is possibly one of the most famous Morale 4s in the game and if you were ever in a raid where you kept reading "1001 up" now you know what they were on about. Very useful to help damage mitigation. This is available in the Dark Rites (healing specc) tree. Chant of Pain - I don't believe this one is used much as it is only a self-heal. But it beats Alter Fate. In the Sacrifice tree. Vision of Torment - unfortunately, not burst damage, but good for preventing tanks from getting out their good morales. In the Torture tree.

Shaman:
Rank 1: Gork Sez Stop - My favorite morale ability ever. Enemies will rarely notice if they have the debuff and they can literally run themselves ragged after you. I've killed many this way.
Rank 2: Breath of Mork - By the time you get this morale you already have group heals. Good for healing outside warbands or if you really don't like your other morale choices.
Rank 3: You Weren't Using Dat - Another skill that makes Shamans (just like AMs) AP powerhouses. Useful for draining a front line as it is charging at you.
Rank 4: Feelz No Pain - Good for the damage reduction. In the Mork (healing) tree. Fists of Gork - decent damage (for a healer) and a knockback. I'm guessing I'd only use this as a last resort if specced on the Gork (DPS) tree. Steal Yer Thunder - A solid buff/debuff in the Da Green tree (damage-to-heal).

Zealot:
Rank1: Tzeentch's Talon - Or, as I like to call it, the "reverse 1001". It does the exact reverse of 1001 to your target, with the exception of the evade stats. Useful for taking down tanks and PvE bosses.
Rank 2: Eye of Sheerian - My second most favorite morale, simply because I think it looks so cool. Good to add an extra HoT like when you know a boss is going to silence you, for instance.
Rank 3: Suppressing the Fragile Unbelievers - Would be awesome if not for the short range. Again, you would have to be in the thick of it and I, personally, prefer hiding behind a tree.
Rank 4: Tzeentch's Shielding - A very decent shield and everybody loves AP. In the Alchemy (direct heals) tree. Tzeentch's Scream - Another one with AP and maybe a not so excellent HoT. In the Witchcraft (HoT) tree. Windblock - the heal debuff and my weapon of choice for killing Steveo. Yeah, I killed Steveo once and this is how I did it. My moment of glory. In the Dark Rites (group heal) tree.

TACTICS

If I went into a detailed description of all tactics I'd lose whatever little readers I had so I'll just make a quick overview.

DoK: I feel that, as tactics go, they're pretty limited. Either you take up offensive tactics which severely hamper your direct healing ability, or you take the more healing and defensive oriented abilities and you might as well be stabbing people with a butter knife.

Shaman: They have the most coveted of all the healing tactics, at least in my opinion. They also have the equivalent for a damage build. They also have a wide range of utility tactics that gives them a third possible role to play. If you played FFXII (although I weep for your loss if you did) you will understand that I call them Synergists. They also have the ever useful GTFO tactic.

Zealot: Zealot's have many tactics based on the Harbinger which I will net get into because they're about to change the whole meaning/functionality of the thing. One of the most useful Zealot tactics is Blessing of Chaos, that can make all healers more efficient. The tactics bit is the one I'm the most excited about because of this overhaul business.

MASTERY TREES

You might want to study them all in more depth as I cba to do it for you. :)
DoK: They have the Pure DPS tree (Torture), the Pure Healing tree (Dark Rites) and the Lifetap tree (Sacrifice).
Shaman: As above, a DPS tree (Gork), a Pure Healing tree (Mork) and a Lifetap tree (Da Green).
Zealot: Unlike the other two, the Zealots trees are defined by damage/healing type. You have the Direct tree (Alchemy), the Over Time tree (Witchcraft) and the Group/AoE tree (Dark Rites). If this distinction is a blessing or a curse is up to the individual.

FEELING

Every healer has a different feel to it and you'll find different kinds of people behind each of them. Shaman's tend to be more fickle and unstable. They can, and are encouraged, to swap from DPS to healing on a regular basis so its the right choice for you if you'd like to do a little of both from a safe distance and without having to mess with different gear and builds.
DoKs like to die trying. They'll keep moving and stay close to the front line. They won't be afraid to stand their ground against a small force and, if specced correctly, they can take them on successfully. Healing-wise they can reach the highest numbers in scenarios, maybe because they have the fastest group heals in the game (if you don't count the possible instant cast of Gather Round due to the Shaman mechanic) but they feel a bit gimped when healing in the back lines.
Zealots are sometimes viewed as the best healers and worst DPSers in the game. I consider both these statements a lie. They have maybe the smallest DPS potential (but I take it that that's about to change) but  they are also underestimated which can make them deadly. As their healing goes, their heals take longer and are more "to the point" because they have no class mechanic restrictions.  A Zealot is usually gifted with more patience and, even though some call them the "mobile healers", a Zealot will be more comfortable hiding in a bush while he does his business.

IN SUM

What is better in T4? As with all other archetypes, a healthy mix of all of them. Although I tend to see a higher number of DoKs around and the ones I see the least are Zealots. So if you want to fill a gap I would suggest a Zealot (in Karak-Norn at least). They can all be extremely useful in any tier, mind you. The biggest factor in this would be your affinity to the class not exactly the way it is currently engineered.

It always comes down to the "play what you have the most fun with" argument. I hope this gave you a small insight of what you can expect from each class before you invest your time in one of them.

The Dangling Conversation

Engra entered the mess hall to find his brave leader in heavy debate with a bar wench. As soon as he was finished and wiped himself clean, Engra approached his table.

"The Raven God calls!"

"Engra! My most valuable, valorous, vivid, voluminous and vivacious of warriors. Sit here, fellow, I have kept for you the sturdiest chair in the house. We would not want to repeat last week's debacle now, would we?"

"No, oh Champion of Change, we would not. I heard you had pressing matters to discuss. I would very much like to get to them so I could return to the post you have assigned me to."

"Then we shall do just that. As of the now. I have a task for you, Engra, a most important one."
Inside his helm Engra grinned a most malicious grin.
"You see," Tchar'zanek continued, "it was not by accident that you landed on the thankless post you now hold. You were sent there to hone your surveying skills for this very mission."
"I think you lost me there, of Great Hoofed One."
"One of my seers has seen a sight. Such a sublime sight is seen seldomly, surely."
"The winds of Change seem strong within you today, oh Thee of The Most Splendorous Horns."
"Quite. The particulars of this vision are none of your concern. You need but know there is a party now to be formed. You are to assemble these warriors and keep close watch over their actions. From time to time you will dictate their actions and see to it that they see them done."
"A lot of seeing and surveying seems to be in order. I must confess, sir..."
"Sir?"
"I'm at the end of my list. I must confess I was expecting, or rather, hoping, for a bit more action."
"Fear not, blodthirsty Engra. There are many who will try to stop these warriors and, when you are noticed looming over their shoulders, you will most surely be faced with glorious battles."
"Well, that puts a nice twist to things. Of these warriors..."
"Ah, yes. I leave that to your full discretion."
"I had the impression they were to be put on quite a dangerous path, on quite an important mission."
"Yes. But it was also seen that Engra Deathsword was the wisest one to bear the weight of this choice. Now begone. My throat runs dry and you have long run out of amusing titles to adress me."

With a bow, Engra took his leave and returned beffudled to his surveying post at the arena. It was true he knew of a few names but this seemed like a matter on which he should invest a bit more time and consideration. As he watched the unending battles unfold before him, Engra started dictating to his newly appointed assistants.

At the Arena

From his perch at the furthest end of the Saccelum Arena, Engra Deathsword surveyed his surroundings dismally.

"I killed man, woman and child to be reduced to this...? A glorified zookeeper with varicose veins? I, the one who laid waste to Praag and instilled the darkest of fears in the soul of Magnus himself! Where is the change I was promised?! WHERE IS IT?" Graul, standing beside him, shook his head as to say "Search me".

It was then that a bloodied Chosen of the Raven Host approached them.

"Gird your loins, what is it you want?"

"I bring to you a message from our master, the great Tchar'zanek. He wishes to speak with you, the one who laid waste to Praag and instilled the darkest of fears in the..."

"And what is it he wants from me? I'll have you know I'm a very busy Chosen. Lots of things to survey here. Yes, indeed," he nodded violently in the direction of Vilebane who, in turn, nodded as to say "Yes. Indeed".

"That, he would not confide in the likes of me. But I got the distinct impression it was of the utmost importance."

"It would be, wouldn't it, or he would need not send for the spiritual successor of the mighty Asavar Kul!"

"If you say so, oh tall one."

"What? You dare doubt my competence?!"

"No, that is far from what I..." but Engra took him by the head and flung him high above his shoulder before he could finish.

"Blood for the blood Goooooo......" was the last line for this our Chosen. Engra hastened to conclude.

"Skulls for the skull..."

ALTDORF LIES UNDEFENDED! CHARGE!

"SWEET!"

Something in My Head Died

It did.

I woke up one Monday (or maybe it was Sunday. Well, it was definitely on a day that ended in "y") and the right side of my face was numb. I gave it a day, thought I might have slep ton one side for too long. Next day it was the same and the same it was on the third day.

So I called my mother, she's a nurse, and she said it could be a wisdom tooth. So I made an appointment at the dentists. "You can come in on the 7th of July". "Eff that," I thought, "I ain't having my face numb for a month. I'll scratch my nose off till then." Mike got me an appointment for his dentist the next day.

I go in and he tells me it's not my wisdom teeth. They're actually looking pretty good and will probably give me no problems in the future.

Then I did something one should never do: I Googled my symptoms. I started panicking at the mention of MS, aneurisms and all sorts of degenerative diseases. So I picked up my family and off to the hospital we went.

As general practitioners couldn't see what was wrong with me, they sent me to the neurology department for which I had to get in one of those spanky hospital gowns and ride around in a gurney (or trolley if that's your fancy) while old people were puking all over the place. I was the spunkiest patient in the E.R., I was.

I got to do a CAT scan which I thoroughly enjoyed. After some 4 hours I got the "we have no clue what's wrong with you but you shouldn't be too concerned. Stuff happens. Especially to people who work around freezers". But I don't work at all...

As you can probably realise, the idea that you can just wake up one day without feeling a part of your body because "shit happens" didn't sit well with me. Neither did the news that it'll probably stay like this for at least a month.

It is the most annoying thing I've ever experienced. It's like everyday, you're coming home from the dentist after a root canal or permanently having a layer of adhesive over half your nose and upper lip. My right upper teeth are numb too so they always feel cold.

I still have some more hospital visits scheduled so WAR is thoroughly on the back burner for now.

Sorry 'bout that peeps.

The Ghost of Christmas Past

Yesterday i was in the mood for some Magus, so i pulled out my Ahrimana and ranked her up a little bit (still in T2, but I have to say, Magus IS FUN!)

All went well until someone from the Alliance (Small In Numbers) suggested an LV run.

For some stupid reason I decided that I wasn't going with Epikk, so I logged my WE and ran to Avelorn.

A valuable lesson was had on that LV run.

Ok, so, I don't play with it ever since i rolled Epikk, and as such I really can't remember what's god and what's not. But i don't remember her being so utterly suck.

It pained me to see that she deals almost 5 times less damage than my dear Choppa. At one point, i can't really remember what boss it was, I decided to stop being useless and logged with Epikk. That's when it really hit me. I was dealing about 160 damage with the WE to that boss, and Epikk was dealing almost 800, plus hurting time, with my run of the mill cookie cutter...

It saddens me to admit it, but... MY WE SUCKS DONKEY BALLS.

and that's that.

cheers

Portugal, The Man

That's actually the name of a band from Alaska. I never heard it though.

Here's a caption if you're having doubts of where its at. (Yes, Azores and Madeira are part of Portugal too even though they wish they weren't. Conversely, Galicia wishes they were.)

So, June 10th, Portugal Day. If Italy is the boot of Europe then Portugal is its face. And the nose would be its capital.

Its funny how Portugal has become so hip these days. Most Europeans have heard of Mourinho for obvious reasons (although he's not the specimen we're the most proud of but, then again, we all have a little Mourinho inside of us.... eww, that came out wrong). Overseas we have Nelly Furtado (which means "stolen" BTW) pretending to have a real passion for this country which I find completely insincere and wish she would just stfu but whatever. Also, these days, Portugal has been showing up all over the place. You can find a "Portugal Yell" in one of buffalax's hits, mentions to it on various sitcoms (Arrested Development, New Adventures of Old Christine, etc) mostly as this obscure country that they've heard about but aren't really sure where its at and what it does, and it continues to be, as it has always been, a favorite holiday destination for the middle class of colder regions like the UK, Germany and the phallus of Europe (Scandinavia).

All in all, I find it a great country to be in. Weather is always nice, we're not bankrupt (yet) and... did I mention the weather is always nice? The food is tasty, the booze is intoxicating, the people are short and friendly, even more so these past few years (except the "short" part, we're getting taller) and the sidewalk is always awesome, albeit a bit dangerous. There is history here. My favorite part of it would be it's origins. Over a thousand years ago this dude stood up and said "fuck this, I don't even like the spanish anyway", rebelled against his mother and proceeded to create a country of his own. Some time later some other dude said "this feels a little cramped here, right? Let's check out the rest of the world." And so they did. Of course, like all the big empires it eventually fell through but who gives a crap. T'was an awesome initiative. I also like the story of Martim Moniz. The most legendary tank wall ever.

I have come to the realisation that I am as dedicated to Destruction as I am to being portuguese. I mean, sure I may visit other countries and learn to speak different languages but this is where I belong, where I reside and what I fight for. Although, unlike Destro, Portugal has lost the habit of imposing its beliefs on the rest of the world. Still, I feel warm inside when I think about both. The bigges difference would be, as a Destro, I feel like part of history in the making.

I love my country. In a healthy european way of loving one's country. It's like so small and cosy and friendly and tasty.
And did I mention the weather is awesome?

Happy Portugal Day everybody!