All Come To Look For a Guard

Parsley caressed the blade of his beloved greatsword with a frown on his face. Sage stood behind him, straining to hold back a snicker, letting through but the slightest grin.

"I know you're there and I know you're smiling."

"I would never do such a thing."
"I know you know what this means as I know they know as well as I."
Rose smiled openly and chipped in:

"Less sweat from my pores is what! True, Thyme?" Thyme rose his spectacled face from the old tome he was reading.

"It says here," he started, "that the general tanking population has accepted and, in some cases, even welcomed this new decree."
"And the rest of us are quite happy with it too," Mary's head whispered as it appeared from the foliage of a low-hanging tree.
"Yes... I guess... There's nothing for it then."
Parsley put away his favourite weapon and sprouted from God-knows-where his shield and meager sword.
"We really need to find you a better one of those, meat shield," Rose helped Parsley to his feet and started to dust off his battered shield. "Now come on, try it out."

"Wait a while there," said Mary as she landed from the tree. "Why are you getting the guard? You won't be anywhere near him! I'll be the one getting stuck in with him up front, I should get it."

"And I'm the one always frostbiting my extremities off. I should be the one to have his damage input reduced." Sage stepped forth from the tree he had been leaning to.

"Oh so you plan on being up front with the rest of them, do you? A one-Druchii bomb group?" Thyme began to stand ever closer to Parsley's shield.

As the bickering continued, Parsley left them to it and departed the clearing to stare at the sun's reflection on the nearby river's placid waters.

"Where's the rain for my parade?"